On-line Dating

A friend of mine asked me recently if I had ever tried on-line dating. Of course I have! Anyone as desperate as me to get a husband will try just about anything. (I'm not exactly proud of that) 

Here's some of my issues/frustrations with on-line dating:

 Almost every guy on a dating site claims to be 6'. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but a little honesty goes a long way, and height isn't something worth lying about. 

On Christian dating sites, guys will state that the most important quality in a woman is her faith and relationship with Christ. This is clearly not true, because my profile states that as the most important thing too, and any guy who really believed that would try to contact me...and very few of this type of guy ever contacts me. 

Contact etiquette-- Who is supposed to send the first message? I am an old-fashioned girl and like to be asked out first, so my tactic is to "view" profiles that I find interesting, in hopes that one of the profilers I have viewed will find me attractive or endearing enough to message me back. This rarely works. 

Some of the guys that sound so perfect for me live in the US or overseas. Why don't any of them live close by? I'm not opposed to re-locating if that is what God has planned for me, but it makes it hard to plan a first date when one's passport is required to get to said date. 

The term "Christian" is thrown around very loosely on on-line dating sites. For some people, the term Christian means "Drinking and partying only once in awhile, not on a daily basis, like seriously just once a week. That's it."  The word Christian on a dating site can also be defined as a person that attends church on Easter and Christmas. Or, one of my favourite quotes: "I believe in God, but I don't let that belief define my life or affect me." 

I have received several matches on dating sites for 25 year old men that are divorced and on the market again. The fact that someone is 25 and ALREADY divorced is a huge red flag. Personally, I believe no one should be married before age 25 as most people don't know what they want until they are that age and really don't have a clue how to treat a person in a marriage relationship. How does one know what they want in life if they never have to experience it on their own first? I know no one is perfect and divorces do happen as often in Christian marriages as they do in other marriages. That being said, what could be so terrible that early on in marriage that someone decides to give up before they even turn 25? A 25 year old divorcee to me is either a sign of immaturity and indecision, or someone who was cheated on or abused. At any rate, most people are too young to be married before age 25, let alone divorced. 

Last but not least (give me time, I could think of more complaints with on-line dating), people are flawed and they often lie to get what they want. I could state that I have a very thin and sculpted body, and was once offered a modelling career, but that would be a lie. 

A guy could pretend to be a Christian, but does that mean he is?  If he will lie about his height, his income, and his interests, there's no telling what else he will lie about. 

& when we make plans will he even show up? Or is this some sick game he is playing? 

I hate on-line dating!! 

I really hate dating of any kind. If I could skip right to the marriage I think I would be fine with that.  Problem solved! 

Birthdays

Well, it's another birthday for me. I won't get into ages here, but I am going to remain 25 for the next few years, if anyone asks. 25 is a good solid age, you are considered an adult, but still considered young at the same time. Anything older than that is pushing 30 and that frightens me a bit. So 25 it is !

I have finally started logging my calories again. I have good intentions of sticking to my calorie goals even over the next 2 days with the birthday celebrations. I've asked Mom not to make me a cake because I fear I might eat it all. She makes the BEST cake in the universe, and if you disagree, you haven't tried it yet. 

A friend of mine just had her first baby today...just a few hours before my birthday. Interesting...the baby has no name yet but its a girl. 

Two friends of mine are getting married on May 18th. 

Three of my friends are pregnant with baby number three. 

And I'm sitting here blogging. As you can see, there is still nothing major going on in my life, but I have my family, my health and my career and I have faith in God, who has provided me with these things. 

I never experienced a teenage pregnancy, a physically abusive relationship, or a major health crisis. I live in a first world country and in an age of many technological advances. There are so many opportunities for women like me to become educated, fulfilled and even rich! 

Perhaps there is a rich millionaire bachelor in my future. One never knows... a girl can dream right? 

I'm not that shallow. I have never prayed for a wealthy husband or for great riches for myself. I have only prayed that God would supply all my needs. So far he has supplied all of them but one. And I think that last need is on its way to being met. It's just not HIS time. 

Valentine's Day 2013

Happy Valentine's Day! Once again I feel that this holiday (for lack of a better word) is exploiting the singles, and exposing them for what they really are: alone. We are the walking wounded, and all we do is complain about the fact that no one loves us on Valentine's Day or any other day of the year. What gets me the most is that two years ago I posted a blog entry on Valentine's Day and I vowed that I wouldn't be single the next year; that I couldn't handle another night alone watching pathetic chick flicks and eating ice cream until my guts explode.  Two years later, I am still single.

Today I am suffering from paranoia. When a guy breaks my heart or dumps me, I smile and pretend that it doesn't bother me. I even wish them well on the outside, but on the inside I am praying, "Please don't let them get a girlfriend until I get a boyfriend!" Don't pretend you haven't wished the same thing.  :)

I have a sneaking suspicion that a guy who recently broke my heart is in the midst of entering a new relationship. I have been paranoid about this for awhile, and most of the time I don't think about it because I'm too busy with life in general. But today, those thoughts of doom keep creeping back. I know that if he gets a girlfriend that the real problem was me, and not the fact that he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. 
Is any of this making sense? It all makes sense in my own mind but as I type it, it starts to sound ridiculous. 

Every time I pray I beg and plead of God that he sends me someone soon. It sounds like a load of hogwash but I don't think I can live as a single much longer. The longer I am single the more I crave a relationship. I'm not cut out for the single life, and I have the same needs that every woman has. We crave adult relationships, and I don't think that is wrong. If God didn't intend for us to be married, then why bother with creating Adam and Eve? He definitely had some sort of a plan there. 

Today I'm going to list all of the positive things about being single so that I feel better about myself. Maybe this list will enlighten others as well.

  1. Any money I earn is mine, all mine! It might not be much, but it's mine. Except for the tithing, which in all honesty I forget to do sometimes.  

2. I can go out for coffee, to the gym, or a road trip at pretty much the drop of a hat if I want to. 

3. I can hang out with male friends without anyone questioning my motives. 

4. I can buy a new outfit or make a career change without consulting with anyone over finances first. 

5. I can learn to rely on God more. I think if I was married I would be turning to my husband with my problems first before handing them over to God. This is a major benefit to being single. 

So there you have it. There is always a bright side to things..this is not to say that I wouldn't jump at the chance to get married if God sets a decent and mature Christian man in my path. I would give up numbers 1-4 for some "true" love when the time comes.