Today is Your Day

It's been a long time since I've created a blog post. I thought blogging would come more naturally for someone who loves writing as much as I do. I guess it is hard to write about yourself. No one wants to sound as if they are bragging about their accomplishments. It is also difficult to admit one's failures. So really, what counts as a successful blog entry?

I have been so inspired lately, and searching for inspiration around every corner. I'm telling you, it is there if you look for it. I am so proud of my Grandfather who has lost 50 pounds recently, and also proud of a couple of my co-workers are on their own weight loss journeys.

Since my last blog entry in February, I have been on an emotional rollercoaster. In the months of March and April I gained about 7 pounds, and I really let it get me down. I was supposed to be losing weight, not gaining.

I visited my cousin Dean in Fredericton around the end of April and he encouraged me to get back on track. I was determined to lose 10 pounds by the next time I had seen him. As soon as I got back from Fredericton, I made it my goal to exercise at least a half hour a day and eat more of the healthy foods that really nourished and recharged my body. Guess what folks? It worked! I fell in love with exercise all over again and I was starting to notice changes in my mood and sleeping patterns.

As of today I have lost 51 lbs. It is slow going, but I am doing this my way and the way that works for me. My goal is to lose 10 pounds this month and 10 pounds the next. I know it is an ambitious goal, but it is attainable. I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer holds.

I can't wait to go for a walk, do yoga, go swimming, road trips, etc. But most of all, I can't wait to live my life. The more healthy I become the more excited I am about life.

You have got what it takes to get healthy and start living again. I draw strength from my friends, and from God to help me get through this. But unless you are determined in your mind to make a change, no one else is going to do the work for you. Take it from someone who knows and has been struggling with this her whole life. I have finally found something that works for me.

"You've got what it takes you can win. Today is your day to begin. If you know that you can than you will get to the top of the hill. Part of the fun is the climb, you've just gotta make up your mind"~ S. Twain

Valentine's Day Woes

February-one of the most difficult months of the year, especially for those of us who are single. I, for one have to endure Valentine's Day (a day that I despise) and a week later, I turn 25. Birthdays are always difficult for me. I usually end up depressed for an entire week. By the time February is over, let's just say I am ready for March.

I hate to keep bringing up the same old thing, but I'm very frustrated about the same old things. God says we are to count our blessings, but it's easier said than done.

Ever notice that everyone reminding you to count your blessings is usually married, with children and a slightly fulfilled life?

I know I have been blessed beyond what some people have. There is always something to be thankful for if I look hard enough. But what I really want more than anything right now is something that I just don't have.

I reached my 40 pound weight loss. It has been a long time coming, and believe me I've struggled with it. The past couple of days, i haven't been able to motivate myself to exercise. I am so anxious for spring to come, with warmer weather, bare grounds and a source of energy that comes with the change of seasons.

It would be nice if I could say losing weight is easy when you put your mind to it, but it's not. It's like any lifestyle change. When someone quits smoking, they usually quit and start again several times. A recovering alcoholic can easily slip back into her old habits without so much as a thought. The only difference with a food issue is that the whole world can visibly see your addiction. A smoker or alchoholic can hide their vices, as long as they keep to themselves when indulging. But my excess weight is there for all the world to see. How shameful is that!

I have a serious problem, and it's not just about stuffing my face because I like the taste of a hamburger. Eating is a way I have learned to deal with my emotions. It's easier to bury myself in a bowl of ice cream than to tell someone how I really feel. Every time a guy has broken my heart in the past, I have turned to food. That is partly why I am scared to date again, and open up my heart. What if things go bad and I start to turn to food? Then all of the work I have done will be pointless.

A good friend once told me that Valentine's day can be about celebrating anyone you love, and doesn't have to be about a significant other. So, I decided that I would celebrate my friends and my family, and also my new lifestyle. I have made some major turning points in my life this year, and I don't intend to go back to the way they were.

Last year, and the years before (especially 2009), my opinion of myself was very low. I had so much self hate in the past, that I would have dated anyone. I would have done anything for any guy just so that I could be loved. Now all of that has changed. Learning how to love yourself and have a healthy self esteem is something that money can't buy. Knowing that you are worth the effort it takes to exercise, eat healthy and take better care of yourself, is priceless. These feelings of self-worth don't come overnight, and I know I have far to go, but I can sense a change in myself.

God has helped me realize how important I am as his child. God has shown me so much love, kindness and patience, and has never given up on me. He has also blessed me with special people in my life that love me no matter what. Life is good, even as a single on Valentine's day.

God Bless!!

~H