April 2010

Something has to change. I have never felt so miserable in my entire life. I'm having success at work, saving money, and trying to get my priorites straight. But the one thing I can't seem to conquer is my weight. It's like a brick wall that no matter what else I do, I can't be happy because I can't get past it. After a shift at work, I am in so much pain that I can hardly move. I don't sleep at nights. Everything just keeps piling up. It is getting embarrassing to be short of breath from walking up 2 simple flights of stairs.

My weight has been a constant issue with me. When I was 8 years old I started to notice I was chubby and most of my friends were quite thin. I used to ask my Mom why I was so fat. I just couldn't understand it. I dealt with depression for much of my young life. No one ever really knew how unhappy I was.

Things started to get worse in my teens. Instead of losing all of that baby fat, I accepted myself as being overweight. Hoping, that some day I would magically be thin and this nightmare called life would go away. I longed for true love to come my way, but I always thought to myself "Who's going to love a fatty like me?" It really affected the way I handled my relationships. It seemed as if I was constantly running or finding an excuse to break up with someone. In turn, i ended up dating the wrong men because I felt I didn't deserve the right one.

At age 24, I am starting to feel old. At 24, I should be living life and I should be loving life. Instead of sitting at home wishing I was out living life, I have decided today, on Easter weekend to do something about my situation.

My cousin and good friend is going to be helping me with my journey. I will be reporting to her my meals and my exercise, and my thoughts on this journey to getting healthy. It is time to face the truth and face all of these issues that have been haunting me. The fact that I am obese is not simply "I love to eat". No, it goes way deeper than that. Anyone else who struggles with their weight understands this. I hope to get to the real issues of why I eat when I eat. I hope to be able to deal with stress in different ways, other than eating 2 burgers and french fries from McDonald's on the way home from work.

I will be keeping everyone posted on my blog "It's my life". The reason I have titled my blog this way, is because I am doing this for me. In the past, I have tried to lose weight to make other people happy. This time it is about me and my health..and a happier life.